I have not been posting alot about foster care the main reason is FEAR!   Is it a specific FEAR well sort of. I don’t want to provide too many details and end of hurting a child. But what I am beginning to realize is that I can and should be talking about my feelings and my challenges and my need for grace and support.   His story will be for him to share someday but for now, my story is hard and I want to have it for the future.   We have had the privilege of providing care for five months.  This was a huge and unexpected change but it was what God had put in place.  I knew up front that behaviors and traumas were going to be difficult to manage. What I did not realize is that I feel like I have become an unpaid employee of DSS.   And I am also the ONLY person who will do what I feel is right and appropriate no matter how inconvenient it is.  I am totally overwhelmed and emotional right now so for this post, I am going to make a list of things and activities that have occupied my time for the past week or so.  Lily has started her intership so she is  no longer available to pick up Easton from school.  In addition both Kendall and Zach have been finished with school for at least two weeks. I am constantly trying to figure out who is picking him up on the day that I get a meeting on my schedule. I  am really juggling a full time position as the scheduler.

On Thursday, he had a doctor’s appointment, my thought was cool, I have managed to eliminate at least one phone call as I can get all three of his prescriptions refilled.  Sound reasonable and easy… NOPE!  I asked at the appointment and was told she would put in the orders and the best news, no appointments until September.  We drive home and stop at the pharmacy, no prescriptions. I called and got “oh sorry, we are putting those in now.”   Matt made the second trip on Thursday to pick up prescriptions. (please see below for the rest of Thursday night)  But one of the prescriptions was not refilled, I made four phone calls on Friday as we were traveling. Kendall was gracious enough to make two additional trips to the pharmacy, both after which I understood that they were submitting the final prescription.  Wrong again!  I realized that it was after 5pm so we were out of luck for the weekend. On Monday, I started bright and early trying to get this prescription filled.  Kendall made another trip that was unsuccessful!   Finally at 4:30pm I again spoke with the pediatrician office which informed me that this whole thing was my problem because their policy is that they have three business day to complete a prescription request!

Thursday night, I was woken up at 1am and between 1am and 6:30pm I may have been able to sleep approximately 15 minutes at a time. Yeap I was tired!

This weekend, Matt and I took our anniversary trip.   But while we were gone lots of problems occurred. Lily wrecked her car, Kendall had sun poison and of course behaviors were off the chain.

On Monday, I called and got a dental appointment I have been asking for for 2 months, scheduled for Tuesday as well.  Monday night I was informed that a new CPS case would be opened against me based on statements made at his family visit.

Tuesday around 1pm, I received a call that a CPS visit had to occur today!  This visit based on a swim meet and the worker going to the wrong address occurred between 9:15 and 10pm tonight.

We were informed that this case would stay open at least 30 days.  This includes at least 2 more visits. That need to be schedule.

I am tired and overwhelmed!