Monthly Archives: March 2011

Expectations

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Expectation-is what is considered the most likely to happen. An expectation, which is a belief that is centered on the future, may or may not be realistic. A less advantageous result gives rise to the emotion of disappointment. If something happens that is not at all expected it is a surprise. An expectation about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order.

The above definition is from Wikipedia. I have been thinking alot about this word this evening. I consider myself a realist. I don’t like doing things like making a 5 year plan or even a 3 year plan. The reason, I am not in control God is…so why waste time and energy with a plan that I have no control over if it works or not? But expectations-yes I definitely have some of those. In fact, you may even can make a case that I have more of these expectations then most people. So what are some of the expectation I have?

First, when Matt became unemployed last July, I had a couple of expectations. I knew this would be a long term situation. I expected it to be very difficulty for all of us to adjust and I even realized that my expectations of what should/would get done during the day may be unachievable. After six months, we are starting to settle into a routine. It is VERY hard for me to go to work and come home each day. I am learning that I just have to let some thing go and that it is okay that some things are running more smoothly without me doing them. I NEVER expected that we would be in the best financial situation of our married life after only six months, nor would I have consider that we are taking most likely 2 major family vacations this year. My expectation of how well the kids are all adjusting has been exceeded, as well as the fact that homeschooling with Lily is more consistent than before. My expectations of what house work/chores should get done each week is evolving.

Next on my list of expectations would be those involving the kids. To protect the guilty, I am going to refer to the definition above “about the behavior or performance of another person, expressed to that person, may have the nature of a strong request, or an order. ” Maybe I need to change my wording and just say this is a strong request or an order?

Expectations…………………….. that is a mouthful!

Divorce

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DISCLAIMER: I am writing this as my own opinion/thoughts/experience. If think you are going to be offended or disagree (my daughters) stop reading now! You can Never use this post as part of an arguement!

That being said I have been struggling with several idea/comments that I really want to vent about. I hope you can laugh, agree, or learn from them.

I will never be the “FUN” parent. I am much too busy trying to teach all my children to be responsible adults. So therefore, I will alway have to say No to some things.

I have struggled for years to follow the simple sounding guide line of “Never talk negative or badly about your ex.” What good has it done me….nothing so far. As the kids have gotten older it continues to get hard to keep my mouth shut on a regular basis. I am finding that in some cases the opposite is true. Neither one of the girls realize how much I have struggled or how much I have chosen to not involve them it.

If someone else wants to be consider one of my children’s mother then they should be required to provide support and discipline otherwise it is totally unacceptable and very hurtful to me to hear of any of my children call another woman any form of mother. I gave birth to them and have known them every day of their lives who else can say that??

Divorce is not fair or good. I have made all my choices with my children’s best interest at heart. I can’t say that all my choices are correct. But they were made at the time and I will continue to stand by and defend them.

Divorce is about the money. Finding the money to survive and to provide for the child. No matter what is said remember these decision will affect the rest of your life.

I am going to end with one decision/way of life that I will recommend and say to date is probable one of the best thing I did as a single woman. I chose to date during the time that the kids were
with their father. I did not want them to be exposed to the “flavor of the week.” And yes I wanted to date alot of people. They were only allowed to meet 3 or 4 guys that I dated the entire 5 years I was single. I still think this is the best plan. I had a life of dating while the kids were with their father, the rest of the time. I was a mother only.